I’ve noticed myself comparing my journey to other people. Comparison sneaks up on us quickly, often leading to doubt ourselves and our abilities. For me, I want to grow this blog to help and inspire others. I want to build my instagram (flowwith_em) to inspire, share and connect with people who love yoga, self improvement and manifestation. I have always cared about what I create or complete (whether it was homework or now my instagram photos), and I’ve gotten stuck comparing. On my feed I like to follow people I see as expanders. Someone who provides me with inspiration and proof of what hard work leads to. But inspiration can turn into comparison.
Obviously someone who has been sharing content and their life for years will have already been through the struggles that comes with building a community. Of course they will have better equipment to take higher quality images. We get stuck in a bubble of thinking “why am I not there” or “why doesn’t this look the same as them” but the answer truly is because we are not in the same spot as them. So as I work through this block, I will share what I’m doing to maybe help you overcome comparison if you find yourself in a similar boat.
Comparison can quickly make us feel doubtful, disappointed and frustrated. We quickly start to believe our journey is not as important than someone else’s. The other day, maybe in a podcast, that if you believe someone got to where they are by luck you are automatically knocking yourself down and limiting yourself. If you truly believe that luck created their reality than how can you believe in yourself to make your dreams happen? You can’t. Comparing can lead us down a spiral of negativity and we want to try to avoid that for our success and most importantly our HAPPINESS.
Before we get into steps to work through a comparison block, I want this to be known, aka shouted from the rooftops.
Social media warps our perception. Social media is about creating a highlight reel. It presents us with the best, happy, organized, edited and staged moments. When you go to someone’s page, that is a highlight reel of what they decided was worthy to show.
Do not compare someone else’s highlights to your behind the scenes
^ that statement is something I have been preaching to myself a lot.
Now that we’ve established that, we can discuss what to do when stuck in a comparing rut.
*Disclaimer* I am coming from a place where I have been comparing myself and building a blog & instagram community to other “influencers” who have already formed a community. Your comparison may be different. The most important thing to remember while reading what I have implemented is that our comparisons start in the same spot. We want to be where someone else is. Whether that is building a business, a community, learning a language, or looking a certain way. As you read focus on the main *technique* (sure let’s call it that) to help you rather than focus in on the situation. I know as a reader, I need the gentle reminder to zoom out sometimes or else I find myself narrow minded and stuck.
The thing I’ve been doing the most is preaching myself affirmations. I have a whole post on why affirmations are so useful but for a quick run down or reminder, affirmations rewire your subconscious. So stating what you want or how to feel will ultimately retrain your brain to actually believe it. When I catch myself comparing myself or my journey to someone else I automatically start saying a few affirmations in my mind to cut off that negative mindset in its tracks.
My current affirmations:
✩No one is me and that’s my power
✩Their highlight reel is not my behind the scenes
✩We all start somewhere
✩ I am on the right path
✩Progress is better than perfection (This one is on repeat in my mind)
✩ I am the sun (yes maybe a little conceded, but I’m a Leo what can I say. Actually though, It’s great to reminded that you’re the most important person in your life)
✩ I am exactly where I need to be
✩ I am grateful for who I am, exactly how I am
These have been good reminders for me when I get in that headspace of “How does she have this?” “Why doesn’t my feed look like that?” “how are they able to stay consistent and motivated.” Truth is babe, they probably feel the same way about themselves to someone else. And if they don’t right now, they probably did at one point. WE ALL go through days where we are grumpy, sad, unproductive, or self conscious but a little square on an app doesn’t show me that. WHATEVER it is you are comparing yourself to, it’s not the full truth. It is a snippet of their life not the full picture (lol ironic) We all have our own struggles and battles, especially when it comes to comparing, we just may not be aware of someone else’s struggles. You are not alone.
A second thing I’ve been doing for myself is changing my train of thought back to my accomplishments. After I remind myself and repeat my affirmations I change my thoughts to how far I’ve come. I take time to feel pride in having started at all. There was a point where I didn’t even know I wanted a blog, there have been several points where I started then stopped. But here I am, building a family. Small wins lead to big results. You might compare yourself and look at someone else and think “wow they have it all” but I bet you someone else feels the same way about you.
You are the inspiration for someone who is a few steps behind you
November 2021 update: I really have taken a ton of time the last week to think back to how far I have come. It makes me smile in yoga when I do a Chaturanga so easily yet when I first started my practice, I would just simply collapse to the ground. Or even driving. When I first started, 16 year old me was terrified to leave a parking lot. Now it is second nature. When you get stuck in the comparison trap, acknowledge that changes occur over time and you won’t always be in the same spot. It gets better.
Comparison can be difficult but catching yourself in the act and taking action steps towards changing will ultimately break down those barriers.
p.s- If you want to read about my top 5 favorite podcast for anything mindset or manifesting, you can read about it here🙂
More To Read:
- Meditation 101
- Top 5 Podcast for Self Growth
- Create a Daily Routine
- Overcome Comparison
- Yoga Teacher Training: What to know